


Somebody That I Used to Know

by Greta13



Series: Cosmic Love [3]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anger, Angst, Everyone Has Issues, F/M, Guilt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Post 1x13, Post Season 1, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 09:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19943680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greta13/pseuds/Greta13
Summary: Michael goes to confront Alex about the gift that Alex gave him, which only raises further questions about Alex's identity.





	Somebody That I Used to Know

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone! Welcome and thanks for reading! This story is part of a series, so in order for all the little things to make sense, I would recommend reading parts one and two first. Thanks!

At first Michael decided that he would confront Alex about the whole my alien DNA might have comingled with yours due to all the sex we had, or yell at the alien possessor or shapeshifter that was impersonating Alex the next time they ran into each other. But then they didn't, run into each other that is. He didn't see Alex at the Pony, but maybe that wasn't completely surprising or unjustified. But he didn't see Alex at the Crashdown or the supermarket either. Alex didn't even come to the picnic Isabel threw to try and distract herself from thinking about Max or Noah. But Valenti did, and he spent the evening glaring daggers at Michael and Maria like they were puppy murderers. Finally, Michael got desperate and went to the base to try and track Alex down. But he wasn't there either. The airman at the front desk said that Captain Manes was no longer stationed at this base. What the frak does that even mean?! 

So he got frustrated, sue him for being hu- well alien. Anyway, he did the only thing that came to mind, falling back into his old routine, like putting on an old comfortable pair of boots. He got drunk, downing shot after shot under Maria's disapproving gaze, started a fight and ended up spending the night in Sheriff Valenti's drunk tank. Sitting in the cell by himself he got even more pissed when he realized that this place only held a billion memories of Max, and naturally made him think of Max, and realize how much he missed him, how out of control he felt, and how focused on not thinking about the past he had been for the last few weeks. Because thinking about Max, about being an alien, about Noah, about his mom, only made him feel even more chaotic inside. He felt off kilter, out of sync. But maybe at this point that was mostly the alcohol's fault. 

Hours later in the late morning light, he awoke with a pounding headache to the sound of jingling keys in the lock. He rolled over on the bench he glanced up, unconsciously expecting it to see Max's stern disappointed judgy face, only to feel a sharp stab of disappointment when he was met by the sight of middle aged female officer. 

"You sober now?" She asked disinterestedly. 

"Yup." He replied rolling his eyes with a sigh. 

"You gonna start another fight with the Long brothers if I let you out?" She questioned with practical wariness.

"No Ma'am." He said, pushing himself up to his feet too quickly, causing the pounding in his head to intensify. He winced and wobbled. 

Apparently that was all it took for this stern woman's maternal instincts to kick in. Gently she lead him out into the hall to a bench. She then disappeared for a moment before returning with a bottle of water and two white pills, most likely aspirin. As he popped the pills and washed them down with a swig from the bottle, she sat down beside him. Close enough to be comforting without invading his space. 

"I'm sorry about Max. I know he'd been having a rough time, especially after the shooting, but I we took him for a runner." She said not unkindly. 

Michael opened his mouth to protest. But she stopped him with the gentle press of her hand on top of his. 

"Now I'm not criticizing him." She continued. "Everyone deals with trauma differently. And everyone deserves to be able to process it how they need to, but it sure does hurt to be pushed away or left behind."

Michael didn't know what to say, or how to respond. Isobel’s cover story was that Max was on a trip to clear his head after being shot and get away from everything. And even though that wasn’t what actually happened, it did kind of feel like Max had abandoned them. First, he forcefully healed Michael against his will, and then he took it upon himself to die while trying to resurrect a girl who had been dead for ten freaking years! Who even does that? Michael realized suddenly that the officer was looking at him, waiting. But she didn't seem to expect him to say anything. Instead, she stood up and smiled with sadness in her eyes. 

"He'll be back. I've seen the way he is with you. You're his family. You don't leave family behind. Not for long anyway."

With that she walked away, leaving Michael to stew in his thoughts. He leaned his head back until it rested against the wall. Eyes closed, he waited to let the pills kick in. To let the chaos settle back into its normal churning turbulence.

He found himself awakened for a second time that day in the sheriff's department by the sound of a familiar voice. If only he could pin it down, masculine and annoying, must be… Valenti. 

Michael leaned forward to try and make out what Kyle was saying around the corner of the hall. 

"Look Mom, I'm just saying not tonight. We can have a mother son bonding night another time, but I can't tonight."

"Oh? And what prior commitment would cause you to turn down homemade tamales and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy with your mother?"

Michael could almost hear Sheriff Valenti's eyebrow arch as she mock interrogated her son. 

"Look Mom, it's not a girl if that's what you're thinking.."

"A boy then?" She interrupted teasingly. 

"Well yes.."

"Oh really? I was joking" Her voice became softer, kinder.

"Yeah, but it's not like that. It's just Alex." Kyle protested.

At the mention of Alex's name, Michael sat up and cocked his head.

“He’s been having a hard time these last few weeks. Between his dad getting released from the hospital, his brothers being back in town and trying to decide whether to renew his contract or leave the air force. He’s got a lot on his plate, and he hasn’t left Dad’s cabin for at least the last week. I just want to be there for him this time…"

Michael jumps to his feet and heads for the front door as soon as he hears where Alex is, missing whatever Kyle said next in his haste. It's only when he's sitting in his trunk, with his hand poised to turn the key in the ignition does he realize that he has no freaking clue where Jim Valenti's cabin is. He hits the steering wheel in frustration with a bit more force than he realized, as the metal dents beneath the blow. What a dumbass he is! Why can’t he plan a head? Why doesn’t he ever think before..

Michael is pulled from his internal monologue of self hatred by the sound of a car starting just a couple spots over. Kyle Valenti, who if Michael remembers correctly, is going to see Alex. 

Michael watches carefully as Kyle pulls out of the parking lot, letting the man get a small lead before turning to follow. The drive out of town is quiet and uneventful. Michael tries to stay as far back as he dares without losing Valenti, but Kyle's driving patterns don't seem to change at all, so Michael figures that the other man hasn't even noticed his tail. 

At long last a small cabin appears ahead. Half hidden by the evergreen trees that surround the mountains, it stands tucked away, an oasis from both man and time. Michael parks just before the bend in the long driveway, keeping his truck out of sight. He watches as Kyle steps out and approaches the front door. Michael slips out of the cab of his truck soundlessly and approaches with a cloth wrapped package in hand. The air is clean and cooler in the woods. The wind carries the scent of pine and wood smoke. Two scents that Michael has come to associate with Alex. Feelings of longing pull Michael's gut, he's missed Alex so much.

Kyle's knock on the door is answered a minute or so later. The door opens to reveal a tired and haggard looking Alex Manes. He looks pale and thin, which only serves to accentuate the dark bags under his eyes. He seems barely awake. His hair is sticking up in all sorts of directions and his t-shirt is rumpled, Michael then notices the crutches and the tied pant leg of his sweats. 

"Jesus man, you look terrible! When was the last time you slept?" Kyle exclaims worriedly. 

"Well I was just about to get some when someone started banging on my door." Alex replied with a hint of amused frustration. 

"Sorry," Kyle says sheepishly, raising the six pack he brought in apology. "I should have called. I brought beer"

"It's fine Kyle, you're certainly not the least welcome visitor I've had today." Alex said, turning to let Kyle in. 

"Well you certainly know how to roll out the welcome wagon Manes." Kyle remarks sarcastically as he steps inside. 

Whatever Alex was about to say next, dies on his lips as he sees a figure standing not ten paces away. 

"Guerin"

"Guerin?" Kyle questions, "what does he have to do with.." He stops when he turns and sees the blond approaching. Kyle practically drops the beer as he starts towards the other man, when Alex's hand reaches out for his shoulder, halting his charge. 

"Look Kyle," Alex says with a sigh. "I can handle this. I'll meet you inside in a few.” 

Kyle continues to glare at Michael for another moment, before he ducks his head down in a nod and moves back into the house. Turning to look at both Alex and Michael one last time before closing the front door behind him. 

Michael steps up onto the cabin porch, the old boards creek under the heel of his boots, as he quickly closes the distance between them only for Alex to step back. It sends a dagger to his heart to see Alex so guarded, to see the blank expression resting on Alex’s soft features, and his dark eyes filled with hurt and fear. They stand there still and the silence stretches and grows for what seems like an eternity before finally Michael takes a deep breath and starts. 

"About the other night"

"There's nothing to talk about." Alex cuts him off. Blunt and cold. Walls up.

"Really? Cause you gave me a piece of a freaking alien spaceship" Michael says practically shoving the package into Alex's face, "and then disappear. You won't respond to my calls or texts. Nothing."

"I've been busy at work." Replies flatly, the calm and indifferent Manes Man mask in place. 

"Yeah? Doing what?" Michael wants to grab the other man and shake him, to turn off the robot and wake up the man. 

"Look Guerin, I don't think it's a good idea.. " Alex replies, casting his eyes away from Michael, searching for what to say. Trying to maintain his facade of impassiveness, but beginning to fail terribly as emotion creeps into his voice.

"I thought you said you wanted to be friends. Friends talk Alex." Michael pushed into Alex’s space, and kept pushing. 

"Yeah. I did." Alex paused, tears forming in the corners as he tried to swallow down the lump forming in his throat. "But you said that you'd be back Michael. I guess we both lied. 

Alex's gaze landed on rough hewn logs of the cabin's porch floor. Unwanted tears slid down his cheeks to fall into the dusty surface, the warm old dry wood wicked the moisture in seconds. 

"Look Alex…" Michael said with hesitant tenderness, seeing now how affected Alex was, feeling like he was finally talking to the Alex he knew, reaching out with a placating hand to close the distance. 

Alex's eyes met Michael's and for the first time, Michael saw anger in those dark eyes. 

"No you look!” He says, pushing away the extended hand.”Look me in the eyes and tell me if you ever really planned on coming back. Was that ever really a possibility?" Alex spat.

"Of course I was gonna…" Michael stumbled. 

"So what happened?" Alex pressed. 

Silence. 

"I thought so." Alex says as he wipes away his tears angrily before turning to leave, his hand already on the door of the cabin.

"There you go, walking away again." Michael called out bitterly to the retreating man. 

Alex turns slowly. He’s tired. So tired with everything. But he owes Michael this explanation at least, for all the times he walked away.

“Because you push me away Guerin.” Alex explains with exasperation bleeding into exhaustion, “And maybe I am the one who walks away but I'm also the one who comes to you.”

Alex is now moving forward, towards Micheal. His face set with a new sense of determination to finish this. Michael wanted fireworks and explosions. Well so be it.

“Over and over I put myself out there and you pushed me away. You say you never look away, but that's all you do. Look. How can you say that you waited for me when this whole time you've been flirting and sleeping around? When you never reached out for the months I was in recovery right here in Roswell, stuck under the same roof as my father?” Alex asked.

“Really?” Michael scoffed, “That's what you're upset about. So what if I had a few one night stands? Its been ten freaking years! A man has needs. I'm an alien not a monk.”

“No. At this point none of that matters. I just...” Alex stops and takes a deep breath. “I wanted you to know that I did care for you, that I loved you Micheal, for all those years I loved you. But I also was afraid. I spent years living in fear. Fear of what could happen to you. I was terrified of what my dad would do to you. I was scared to tell you how I really felt about you, to tell you how much you mean to me, because I feared that you didn’t feel the same about me.”

“Alex how can you say that? How could you ever think that?” Michael questioned utterly perplexed.

“Honestly, all the people telling me about what a Lothario you had become, Casanova reincarnate, just confirmed my fears. That you never felt about me the same way I felt about you. That what we shared didn’t mean anything special to you."

Alex paused, silent as unshed tears caught in his eyes as he ducked his head. No longer meeting Michael's gaze. 

“I don’t blame you. It’s my own fault. I know that. Maybe if I had told you how much it hurts me to see you with other people, maybe if I had told you why I left, why I didn't feel comfortable having a public relationship, if I had just been braver, maybe then you would have given me a reason to stay. But it’s not fair that you always get to be the angry one leaving me sad and broken.”

“No. No, you…” Michael said almost shouting while shaking his head, he felt like reality was slipping away. How could he have pushed Alex away? “No, you walked away. You’ve always walked away from us, from me!”

“But I stopped, I stopped walking away Michael! You are the one who walked away after Caulfield. You walked away that night that I came to you yet again, ready to fight for us. You're the one that walked into Maria's arms when I was waiting for you, after you told me we would talk. You're the one who is building a freaking spaceship to leave the planet.” Alex says picking up the alien glass console piece as if to prove his point. Michael’s eyes widen as he witnesses the very reason he came to see Alex. 

“You make it glow.” Michael says almost reverently.

“What?”

The blood drained from Alex's face as he looked at the alien artifact in his hand. And indeed it was glowing.


End file.
